1) I am 38 and my butt is no longer the 2 perky little handfuls it once was in my 20's, it's more like 2 soggy balls of pizza dough ready to be stretched flat and smothered with tomato sauce.
2) My once bountiful 34D bustline, after nursing each one of my 3 children for well over a year, has withered down to a 32C but ONLY after it is hoisted and secured into a well-structured push-up bra.
3) My stomach, once famous for it's 6 pack, is now famous because my kids can make funny faces with my belly button.
Needless to say, swimsuit shopping is the ultimate test of self-love. I repeat my mantra over and over again:
You have a beautiful, healthy body that has given you 3 beautiful healthy children.
Only once every 5th repetition does the thought of a tummy tuck and boob job enter my conciousness.
As I pull open my swimsuit drawer filled with dozens of tiny bikinis (yes, DOZENS in one drawer - that is HOW tiny they are), I feel reality hit me like a declined credit card and it says to me, "It ain't happenin', Sister."
And so begins my search for the perfect maillot - online, of course...
Mission: Find a super-hot one piece that reminds my husband why he married me - this is, of course, a joke because we all know that it was my winning personality and utter brilliance that made me irresistible to him ;)
but I digress...
Thank God for internet shopping - no harsh, glaring flourescent lights, no stripping down in an ice cold dressing room and no one to hear my wails of horror as I squeeeeeze into a polyamide corset.
All in all, I don't do too bad. I try on 8 suits and am pretty satisfied with 3 of them. No muffin top, moderate boob support, not too hootchie ( I AM a mother after all.).
Have a look at the selections and guess which ones I chose:
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| Thayer, available at shopbop.com |
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| Carmen Marc Valvo, available at Victoria's Secret |
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| Kenneth Cole available at Victoria's Secret |
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| Lenny available at saks.com |
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| Very Sexy available at Victoria's Secret |
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| Jean-Paul Gaultier available at Bergdorf Goodman |
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| Karla Colletto available at saks.com |
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| Very Sexy available at Victoria's Secret |
I liked the Nude Thayer for the clean lines, the Blk Cut-Away Victoria's Secret - no explanation necessary, and Striped Gaultier because it is so feminine.
Decisions, decisions - I really want to keep all three (as my swimsuit drawer is now looking pretty bare).
We'll see...
2 comments:
i think i like the nude VS one....i think, but i'm not sure. one thing that i AM sure about though is the fact that even if u were to have 6 more children you would look fabulous in a bikini!! let's face it, you just WANT a one-piece. not that you need it;-)
and btw, i don't even wanna imagine the tan lines you're going to get with the cut-out VS one hah
Why is it that cut out suits show less skin than a bikini, but are infinitely more suggestive? I had one in the 80's that provided a lot of coverage, but really turned heads, none the less.
Ready to rock the beach again, I bought one last year and happened to have it on when one of my teens came into my room. His reaction?? 'You've got to be kidding me' and he is very used to seeing me in a bikini. I sent it back.
Love the nude Thayer. I would worry about lateral exposure with a lot of the drapier ones. Very difficult to find the perfect one piece, but when you do, there is nothing better. Got one from Calvin Klein Collection years ago. Still have it
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